Psychological Games and Discounting

The morning began with Karen continuing work on psychological games, helping the Brothers understand how games can be played out in our everyday lives.  She went on then to introduce the concept of working styles, showing how people manage feelings of not OKness.  She explained that all of us have one or two working styles which we employ in order to maintain a positive sense of self.  These ‘drivers’ are particularly used when we feel somewhat under stress. We become driven to behave by feeling that we have to:

Be Perfect

Be Strong

Please others

Try Hard

Hurry up.

Karen then went on to discuss the idea of discounting where we, out of awareness, ignore certain information that would be helpful in resolving problems.  The groups discussed how discounting can prevent us from facing certain issues and reaching a satisfactory level of success.

Finally, Karen gave an explanation of how best to listen to each other, and provided a space where Brothers could practise three levels of listening where our inner chatter, our focus on the story and our unearthing of the deeper meaning of what a person is saying can be addressed.





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